Posts Tagged ‘dog’

I’d rather have a dog than a wife!

  1. The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.
  2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
  3. Dogs like it if you leave lots of things on the floor.
  4. Dogs parents never visit.
  5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
  6. You never have to wait for a dog; They’re ready to go, instantly,24 hours a day.
  7. Dogs find you amusing When you’re pissed.
  8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
  9. Dogs won’t wake you up at night to ask:”If I died, would you get another dog?”
  10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and sell them.
  11. When you drop a silent one, dogs don’t run around frantically With room spray.
  12. Dogs love to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
  13. Dogs never tell you to stop scratching your balls. Instead, they sit Why you don’t lick them.
  14. Dogs will let you put a studded collar on, without calling you a pervert.
  15. If a dog smells another dog on you, it won’t kick you in the crotch; it just finds it interesting.
  16. If a dog runs off and leaves you, it won’t take half your stuff.

The deed is done…

Well the big day arrived and the new puppy has been to the vets and had his testicles unceremoniously removed. Poor guy! But I can’t helped being somewhat amused by the fact that with the protective cone on his head he doesn’t seem to realize how much wider he has suddenly become and keeps getting caught up on doors, corners and when passing sofas…

So – why should you neuter a dog?

Here’s the advantages…

  • The dog will be healthier due to lower testosterone levels
  • The dog will exhibit fewer territorial behaviours, including aggression
  • A neutered dog is less likely to wander
  • A neutered dog cannot produce offspring
  • A pure bred neutered dog is less attractive to thieves

And to my mind there’s only one disadvantage…

  • Surgical risk – as with people the general anaesthetic presents an inherent (very small) risk

Read the rest of this entry »

Do the Cesar Millan books work…?

I don’t know – but am about to find out soon, well as soon as I’ve read them. Every dog owner I know seems to be incredibly impressed with Cesar Millan (AKA – The Dog Whisperer), so – with the recent addition of the new puppy we thought it’s time we knocked our existing dog (pretty good with one or two minor glitches – the guy in the MuttzNuttz logo), and the puppy into shape.

The major problem at the moment is house training – he’s pretty good all round and will sit, stay and come when you want him – not bad with food either – but can he manage to pee in the right place – NO! We were assured by the people we got him off that he was house trained – not sure what their idea of house training is. But I’m damned sure it doesn’t match mine…!

We bought two books How to Raise the Perfect Dog and Cesar’s Way – so I plan to come back to this topic occasionally and review the books and relay our experience as we attempt to make our dogs perfect…. Will the books work – or would they be better put to use beating the dogs into compliance? :) I’ll let you know…. Read the rest of this entry »

The nature of dogs…

As has been said on this site before the MuttzNuttz dog in the header is my own dog. And, he’s quite a character! He’s not a big dog – but in his mind he seems to think he is sometimes…

I love how dogs ‘tune into’ their owners moods – when you’re down they comfort you, when you’re angry they stay out of the way, and when you’re happy their mood picks up too.

And, best of all – almost every dog, whatever its size or nature will rush to protect you if necessary – I was reminded of this when I woke this morning. For years I’ve been cursed with terrible nightmares which I have learned to live with – and I often wake myself shouting and screaming… Today I woke up shouting something along the lines of “I’ll f*****g kill you, you c**t”! Don’t know why – I can’t remember the dream…

As I returned from whatever hell hole I was in to conciousness – through the open window I could hear the dog running out of the hose barking and growling and looking for ‘whoever’ it was causing me anxiety. It’s really reassuring to know that if I were a¡in any kind of real trouble this little mild natured guy returns to his wild dog roots and is sure to be on my side! Read the rest of this entry »

Man’s best friend…

The star of this site!

The star of this site!

If readers of this site hadn’t guessed the dog in the header is  my (current) dog which we got from a rescue centre. We figure from history and looking around at pictures he’s half Labrador and half Beagle (probably with a smattering of other genes) which makes him – wait for it a Beagador! Yes, it really is a ‘breed’ apparently… Mutt that he is – he’s a fantastic dog, good  natured and – reasonably – well trained.

I’ve been thinking – I have no idea why – and it came to me that we probably live with more women over the course of our lives than we do dogs…. So far for me 4 dogs, two family Labradors, and my German Shepherd Max who sadly took ill and never saw out his time. I’d love another Shepherd but live with someone who is terrified of them – maybe one day… As for the number of women I’ve lived with – more than 4 – we’ve already established, women come and go quicker than dogs! :)

! Max and Kim

Max and Kim

What’s the old joke – to test who your best friend is, try locking your wife and your dog in the trunk of the car and see who’s most pleased to see you when you let them out after a couple of hours!

Cats: I can’t tolerate the useless creatures. And, let’s be honest with ourselves are a bit gay for a regular guy aren’t they! How many single guys do you know with cats – I’ll bet they are gay – if not – in the closet! Also, beware of dating women with more than one cat – from my experience it’s usually an indication of a high maintenance psycho! :)

    Translate to: